a dream and a fairy tale that will never come true
Tuesday, July 26th, 2005
i dreamt of you again… and it felt so right… so real… like you were really holding my hand… and we were just sitting on a bench in the middle of a huge mall (I need to find that mall soon), sharing a blended drink, people-watching and laughing at some.
*sigh*
but then again it was just a dream… a dream i could only hope to not end. sometimes i feel like you know i wanted to tell you something and that sometimes i just want to give you a tight bear hug out of nowhere… but that might freak you out. so i keep the distance. i make sure i’m not near you enough to be tempted to even touch you. i don’t come near enough to not smell your cologne or aftershave or whatever that is you’re wearing that’s making me want to smell you all day. i misinterpret your kindness most of the time and i feel sorry for myself whenever that happens. i like you a lot… so i supress it… because if i fall totally… you might not be there to catch me… that would hurt… a lot… and worse, things will never be the same again… that would just ruin my entire life.
so, i’m sorry if i’m too sensitive about everything. sorry if i couldn’t even start a nice conversation with you. sorry if sometimes i get too nosy. sorry if sometimes i end up staring in space if not at you. sorry for liking you. sorry for whatever it is that you feel weird about between us. i guess i should keep more distance… so as not to step on your own space and hinder your own growth… but i’ll be here nonetheless… if your own space becomes too huge for you to be in it alone. i’ll share my world with you… and we’ll live happily ever after.
